Hello, my lovelies. It has been 10 days since my last entry. So much for posting a blog every day for the month of September, right? Things have just not been good for me on a mental or emotional level. This morning, however, I have started to turn a corner, I think. Maybe only slightly, but it's a start for what I hope is going to prove beneficial for me.
Today is Sunday, September 27, 2020. It's not particularly different from any other fall Sunday; it's a bit dreary and overcast, a few sprinkles fall from the sky here and there, but, on a mental and emotional level, something feels a bit different. Could it be that clarity and some form of enlightenment is creeping in? We are in the pre-retrograde shadow of Mercury turning retrograde, and, if you aren't familiar with what Mercury turning retrograde is, I suggest that you do some research on it, on your own accord. Astrology is one of the many tools I use to guide my spiritual life.
So, what is it, then, about today, that is so different? I really can't put my finger on it. I slept in, I don't have more or less pain than usual (unless you count the building migraine due to the low pressure system coming in), but I do feel a bit more put-together, if you will; productive, a bit of clarity, maybe. I have been struggling greatly with things this year, on a mental, emotional and even physical level, so this is an odd feeling to me.
Perhaps I am entering into this pre-retrograde like I should. It is a good time for reflection, re-doing things and thinking ahead for a much better game plan, so to speak, about major decisions. It's not a good time for making those decisions come to fruition. So, for the period of about September 23rd through November 4th, I will be reviewing most of the things in my life, re-thinking how to actually change some things and re-doing a lot of those past things that didn't quite work out as planned. I will also be doing some silly things like buying an external hard drive to back up my desk top, laptop and phone, if you catch my drift.
I'm very much thinking of how to change up the formatting of my blog, social media and YouTube channels, as I feel that these things are very stagnant and I don't seem to have a lot of forward movement. This could also be why I haven't kept to the scheduling of all of these things (except for the YouTube daily vlogging commitment), and have kind of fallen off the wagon, so to speak. It just hasn't been working out the way that I had anticipated or wanted it to. So, back to the reviewing and re-thinking, so that I can re-do this aspect and hopefully make it much more successful.
My mental health has been all over the place, lately. I'm up, I'm down. I'm high and low. Manic and depressed. I am very much fluctuating in my emotions and ways of thinking over the last month. I've had those moments of despair and hopelessness; days, even. It truly is maddening. I feel as though I'm truly deserving of an insane asylum at times. But, today is different. I don't feel as though I need to be in that asylum, but maybe I have some clarity and possibly a bit of enlightenment. Things can change; they are changing. I'm hoping, for the better.
On October 1st, I will be watching all of my Depression Chronicles series on my YouTube channel, my social media and reading over this blog to review my thoughts, re-think those patterns and re-do some of the actions that I have taken during this month of mental health evaluation. I'll write a blog and make a video for my channel with these findings and hopefully, it will not only help my own mental health, but my greatest hope is to help someone else.
Remember that you are not alone.
Live from the Earth. Play in the dirt.
Blessings
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