It just wasn't what I had expected

 Welcome, my lovelies. It's day 6 of the Depression Chronicles. I don't really know what to type in this blog, as my mind is in a total fog. I'm having trouble today, mostly with connecting a full thought. I'm in pain today and my mind is in a state of confusion. And, that can be pretty typical of me.

I slept last night. No, really. I actually had more sleep last night. But, I woke up with the starting of a migraine and body pain and aches. Well, isn't that typical? There always seems to have to be a trade off for having a good day or good sleep for me. It's frustrating. It would be great to be able to have it all, just for one day.

The weather plays a huge part in my mood, because it plays a huge part in my pain levels with my brain injury and Fibromyalgia. Today I woke up to immense atmospheric pressure, heat and humidity and, thus, pain. You can about imagine what that does to your attitude and mood. This caused me enough distress, that I didn't get into the garden until late afternoon and only got a 40 ft row of collard seeds planted. But, what really sent me into a spiral today, was when I went to the grocery store.

Oh, the grocery store. I went to pick up just a few things, to kind of get us through the next few days. As I walked through, browsing and collecting my items to purchase, I became painfully aware of the prices, the sparsely stocked shelves and the lack of some other products. My mind started racing. I looked at my husband and said, "We're all going to be starving before too long. No one will be able to afford to eat, let alone find food and other necessary products." I collected my things hurriedly and went to the checkout. 

My husband put the few groceries that I had chosen onto the conveyor belt and the register started to beep as the cashier scanned the labels to ring them up. All said and done; it was $79.18. I just shook my head. How disappointing. I had bought items for 1 complete meal, meat for two more meals, bread, milk, cereal, vegetables and a couple of snack items. It was 30 items, literally. I just wanted to cry. 

So, the day has moved on, naturally, but I am still anxious, depressed and worried. But, I am not alone in my battle, and neither are you.

Live from the Earth. Play in the dirt.

Blessings.